


A Garden Wall and a Camellia Bush

by Rfsak



Series: Counted [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, minor smut...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rfsak/pseuds/Rfsak
Summary: It all started with a fall over a garden wall into a camellia bush. Kakashi/Ume





	A Garden Wall and a Camellia Bush

**Author's Note:**

> This is part two of the Kakashi/Ume mini saga I have. I may be posting the whole shebang, but it may take a while since I want to do a good edit/rewrite as it predates these two one shots and needs an update.

**A Garden Wall and a Camellia Bush **

Kakashi sulked and threw the shuriken at the targets laconically. With his dad on a mission and just the housekeeper around, the big house was always boring. Might as well practice, he supposed.

Honestly, did he really need to? There were students at the academy, a full five years older than him, who had yet to master the shuriken jutsu. He was already light-years ahead of them.

He smiled broadly. His father was estimating that he would be ready to take the graduation exam in a year or so. If that happened he would be the youngest graduate in Konoha history.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" There was a clatter and a loud bang. "Ouch."

He shifted his grip on the kunai. "Who's there?"

A little blonde around his age but taller than he was popped up out of a camellia bush, wiping dirt off of her clothes. She smiled brightly, revealing a couple missing baby teeth. "That's the shuriken jutsu, right? I want to learn to do that sooo bad! My mom used to say that I was tall for my age and that I might make a good ninja. See, her dad, my grandpa, I never met him, but he was a ninja, the only one in my family, matter-of-fact, and my mom said that I take after him. But I don't think my dad will let me... He says we don't have enough money."

She quieted picking at her ratty t-shirt, one wrist dark with bruises.

Kakashi huffed. "Who are you?"

"Oh!" She pointed behind her, over the low garden wall, at one of the old servant houses sat. Servants of the Hatake family had lived there for generations before his father had cut staff and started to rent to tenants before he was born. The one she pointed at was one of the oldest and most ill-kept, but the closest to the big house. "I'm your next door neighbor, Nagasaki Ume." She bowed casually. "You're Hatake-san's son right?"

"Kakashi." He inclined his head slightly.

"Soo... Kashi, is th-"

"My name is Kakashi."

She rolled her eyes. "So Kakashi... is that the shuriken jutsu?"

He nodded.

She squealed. "Will you teach me? Please? Pretty, pretty please?"

He started to shake his head.

She widened her eyes and pouted. "With dango on top?"

He wrinkled his nose. "I don't like sweets..."

She tried to pout one last time and then sighed. "Fine.." She started back at toward the fence, glaring forlornly back at him.

"You should teach her, Kakashi. Remember what I said about teaching."

Kakashi started and turned towards his father. "Dad! How did the mission go?"

"Fine, fine. How were things while I was away?"

Kakashi smiled. "I think I have mastered the Fireball Jutsu!"

Sakumo ruffled Kakashi's hair. "Very good. All the more reason why you should teach Ume something..."

Kakashi huffed and both Hatakes turned to the blonde standing in the camellias.

She blushed and bowed deeply. "Hello Hatake-san. I have the rent." She held out the hand attached to the bruised wrist, clutching a check written in sloppy child's handwriting.

Sakumo smiled and accepted it, perusing it quickly before looking down at Ume kindly, cradling her bruised wrist gently. His jaw tightened but he forced a smile on his face. "Does your father know you write checks for him, Ume-chan?"

She scuffed her foot in the garden dirt, shrugging. "Yes..."

Sakumo moved to stand in front of her and squatted so he was eye level with her. "Really?"

She nodded and pointed at the signature at the bottom. "That's his signature... He knew he would be... out so he left it with me."

Sakumo's face hardened. "Where is your father, Ume?"

She set her jaw mulishly. "Out."

Sakumo sighed. "For how long?"

She shrugged and looked down.

Standing, Sakumo set his hand on her head. "Would you like to have dinner with us? Kakashi can teach you the shuriken jutsu after."

She glanced nervously back at the house. “Um…. I… I don’t-”

“UME!”

She jumped and Kakashi watched confused at the look of panic that crossed her face. “I should be going…”

Sakumo sighed and nodded. “I need to speak to your father. I’ll walk you over.”

She blanched but nodded. Head hung low, she followed Sakumo over to the house, casting a sad look back at Kakashi.

“UME! Where the hell are you? Where the fuck is my dinner?”

Ume jumped when Sakumo’s heavy hand landed on her head. She looked up and blushed at his reassuring smile.

“It’ll all be okay, Little Ume.”

She looked away again, nodding vaguely, very aware that he couldn’t promise anything once he went back home, leaving her with her father. “Yes, sir.”

He ruffled her hair as they rounded the big house’s entry way. Her father, hulking, dark-haired beast that he was, sat on the porch in a sweat-stained short work yukata. Lips wrapped around a cigarette, Jinsei watched the approaching jonin with no small amount of disgust. “Hatake-san! Nice to see you. Ume paid the rent I assume?”

Sakumo sighed and nodded. “She did indeed, Nagasaki-san. Though I don’t know how appropriate it is for your five year old to be writing your checks…”

Jinsei glared to down at the already shrinking girl. “I knew I would be away wor-”

“I know perfectly well what you were away doing. I can smell it on you.” Sakumo glared at the man. “I am not here to argue that with you. I simply have a suggestion. You daughter has a passion for learning, specifically learning at the Academy. You should enroll her. I think they might even accept her early. I think she will make a fine ninja someday. Besides from what I understand, it may have been your late wife’s last wish.”

Jinsei scoffed. “That dumb bitch? Who the fuck cares about her last wish.”

Sakumo’s face hardened as Ume buried a sob in her throat. “Let me make this clear to you: you will enroll Ume in the Academy or you will be speaking at length with the Konoha Police Force.”

“I don’t have money for the Academy.”

“It’s free, you dunce.” Sakumo turned to leave but paused. “Also if you ever lay a hand on your daughter again, if I see any bruises, any suspicious injuries, it’ll take ANBU to keep me away from you. Have a good night Nagasaki, Ume-chan.”

She started her first day at the Academy that next Monday with a vicious bruise on her cheek.... but hell, she started at the Academy.

* * *

She wore black for a week like she was making up for the fact that he refused to. She glared at everyone who even thought about looking at him the wrong way, he refused to meet their eyes. She verbally berated everyone who spoke against his father, he refused to even refer to him as anything other than _that man_.

She called him hero, he called him failure.

Years later he would thank her for that, but right now he couldn’t see past the shame to see what she was doing. Right now, he was embarrassed.

Right now she was a civilian-born scamp who had just recently graduated the academy she had almost not gotten into. Right now she was screaming at a jonin Hyuuga.

Right now she was screaming at one of the ninja _he_ had saved.

“Would you prefer to be dead, dumbass?”

The Hyuuga flushed. “What do you know, brat?”

“I know that if Sakumo Hatake hadn’t saved your useless ass you’d be lying deader than a damn doorknob in some barren field. I know that Sakumo Hatake was a good man and the hero you traitors don’t deserve. Most of all I know that you cowards waited until you had gotten safely back to the village to turn on the man who got you home safely. That’s what I know!”

She was shaking, furious and vengeful but not stupid enough to face down a jounin.

“Ume.”

She turned towards him, almost as angry at him as she was at the Hyuuga. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to me, asswipe. I busy.”

“Ume, it’s not worth it.”

She punched him, socked him hard right in the jaw. “It is worth it. Your father was a good man, he doesn’t deserve to have his memory pissed on. He doesn’t deserve to have his son desert him too.”

He felt a hot stab of something that felt a lot like guilt. “He broke the rules. He was scum.”

She may only be a genin, but she promptly handed him his ass. Ume angry was an utterly terrifying thing to behold.

* * *

“I’m outtie, I have a mission.”

He looked up from his bowl of miso. “Hmm? Where to?”

“We’re hitting an enemy supply train that’s supposedly operating out of a village near the Hidden Rain.” She dropped money on the counter and turned towards him with a smile that said she knew something he didn’t.

Kakashi nodded. “That could be dangerous.”

She shrugged. “But mostly just wet… Saito-sensei says it’s not likely to be that heavily guarded.”

He surveyed the smile on her face and made a face behind his mask. “What else?”

“Hmm?” she parroted.

He chuckled. “You have a dumb grin on your face, something is up, what is it?”

She socked him lightly in the arm and rolled her eyes. “I’ve been made a chuunin sub-captain. I technically out-rank you now, sucker.”

His eyes widened. _Sub-captain? That didn’t happen often._ “You wish! You will never out-rank me.”

He smiled. “Congrats.”

She bursted with the excitement that she had been tempering. “I know! This is going to be my first command mission. Sorta like on-the-job training!” She did a little dance move.

“Good. You deserve it.”

She smiled. “Thanks. I’m so excited.”

“Be careful.”

She hugged him and he awkwardly let her. “I will, no worries.”

“Remember...Remember that finishing the mission comes above all else.”

Her face darkened. “This again? Fuck the rules. I’m going to get the job done and I won’t sacrifice my comrades in the race to do it. Watch me.”

* * *

“Hey, Minato-sensei! I had heard you guys were back. Do you know which room Kakashi is in? I want to ask how his first mission as a jounin-” The words died in her throat as Minato somberly motioned at the room behind him. “What happened? Is Kakashi okay?”

“Physically, yes, but... “ Minato rubbed a hand over his face. “It was a rough mission. Obito was…”

“Obito?” She looked through the doorway at where Kakashi sat on a hospital bed and glanced at Minato.

“Go ahead. He needs you right now.”

She pushed into the room and threw her arms around him and for the first time in forever he returned the hug wholeheartedly, burying his face in her shoulder. “I’m sorry about Obito.”

His breath stuttered like he was fighting back tears. “It’s my fault. I should’ve…”

“It’s war Kakashi. It’s no one’s fault.”

“You don’t understand. I almost abandoned Rin. The enemy had her and I was going to leave her.”

Ume sighed. “But you didn’t right? You went back for her.”

He pulled away from her and wiped at his eyes. “If I had done it from the beginning Obito would-”

“You don’t know that!” She shook her head before pausing and reaching up to touch his headband. “Why is your eye covered? Did you lose an eye?”

He huffed. “Don’t change the subject!”

“You lost your eye?” She glared at him. “You mean to tell me that you were severely injured and you think it’s your fault the mission didn’t succeed? _You arrogant asshole_!”

He glared right back. “What the hell is your problem?”

“Are you so arrogant that you think you could control the situation?” She scoffed. “I know you’re a genius, Kashi, but we are at war. Control is an illusion. We don’t have control over anything, much less the outcome of a mission.”

“So what? We give up? We don’t try?”

“No, dumbass, that’s exactly what we do. We try our hardest to get the job done, but we know that beating ourselves up over it is pointless. Because the very thought that we can control fate is laughable.”

He was speechless, but apparently Ume wasn’t.

“It can only be your fault if you are responsible for it-”

“I was Taichou, I was responsible!”

“And I’m sure you did everything in your power to get everyone home, but sometimes, things are just out of your control. There is nothing you could’ve done, I’m sure of that because if there was, you would have done it.”

* * *

"Ume?"

She hummed and turned toward him, eyes bluer than he'd ever seen them. "What's up, buttercup?"

She looked back down, grappling with a particularly stuck buckle on her shin guard. He didn't answer, moderately transfixed by the way the muscles in her arm flexed and glided under smooth, tanned skin. "Kashi. What's up? Are you gonna go home and change or are you gonna stare at me?"

She grinned crookedly. "I mean I know I'm hot but-"

"You are."

"Huh?"

"Hot. You are."_ Shit. Did I really just say that?_

She blushed crimson to the roots of her platinum blond hair. "Do you have a concussion?"

"What? No." He huffed. "I'm fucking this up."

"I'm so confused. What the hell is happening?"

He ran a hand over his face and tugged his mask down. He didn't even know why he wore it around her, she knew what he looked like. "I'm trying to initiate.... intimacy.... with you." He winced.

She got impossibly redder. "What the fuck did you just say?"

He sat on the floor next to her. "Shit. I'm trying.... Damn it. Have you ever wondered..."

"Wondered what?"

"What sex felt like?"

She looked like she was trying so hard to understand, nose scrunched up, blue eyes concentrating hard on his face. "I mean... yeah, course, but-"

"Have you ever wondered what it would feel like... with me? Because I think about it... with you... all the time. I mean, all the time and if you do too then I thought we could... try it out together. I mean honestly you are-"

"You want to have sex with me?" She was still blushing.

"Yes." He was blushing too and looking anywhere but at her.

"Okay." She nodded bravely and his brain stuttered to a stop.

"Seriously?"

She shrugged looking down at her armored gloves. "I mean... yeah... you're like the only guy I'd trust with that... the only guy I'd want to do that with..." She risked a small glance at him and shrugged again. "Most guys aren't really interested in me that way anyways, y'know."

"That's not true." _Oh god... that isn’t true at all._ Jun had just told him the other day that he had been dropping hints for a month and that naive little Ume hadn't picked up any. If she only realized. She wouldn't be hanging around his awkward ass, that's for sure.

She shook her head. "That's-"

He kissed her. He just went for it and his heart soared when she returned it. Sure she was a bit hesitant... but even he wasn't sure he was doing this right, so could he blame her? He pulled away from her with what he was sure was a big dumb grin and stood, pulling her up with him and leading the way to her bedroom.

"Kashi...?" He turned towards her.

"Yeah?"

"This isn't gonna make anything weird between us, right?"

He shook his head. "Never."

God, he hoped not.

* * *

There was the sound of a minor explosion, a smoke bomb perhaps, and the accompanying puff of smoke from the Kage booth and every Leaf ninja, the ones who had broken the genjutsu at least, froze.

Kakashi pushed up his headband and focused his Sharingan on the booth. At this distance and with the smoke, he couldn't see much but he willed himself to see anything, specifically Ume and the Hokage.

A spare second later a body was hurled out of the dispersing smoke, a white cloak, a black uniform and a trail of blond hair making said body immediately identifiable.

He could tell she was alive but couldn't see if she was conscious. Just as he was preparing for the rapid dash needed to catch her, he heard the screech of a metal kunai dragging through the roof's metal drain system.

She steadied herself on the edge of the roof, cradling one side of her body, broken ribs his mind helpfully supplied, as a wall of black cloaks surrounded her.

He could read the fury in her posture clear as day and he couldn’t help but chuckle. It took a lot to make the normally good-natured Ume angry, a deliberate attack on her village and her family was enough to make her absolutely furious.

Not scared or nervous, not sad or disheartened, but _livid, murderous, downright apoplectic_. The kind of angry that should make every enemy ninja in the arena seriously reconsider what they were being asked to do. Ume was an ANBU captain, one of the best ninja of her generation, she was normally a force to be reckoned with. Ume this angry and on a warpath?

Well...he almost pitied the assholes.

"They've pissed off the wrong ANBU." Asuma grinned at him, angry and almost feral. "Suppose the Hokage forgot to mention Ume's Sarutobi temper, huh?"

"Oops." Kakashi grinned under his mask. "For someone not genetically related to you, she sure takes after you lot, doesn't she?"

"She's definitely my father's daughter."

"Tenzou!" Her voice carried surprisingly well across the arena.

Tenzou, _Cat_ turned from his perch above her. "Yes, Taichou."

“Take your squad. Break that barrier, ASAP.”

“Yes, Taichou.”

"Everyone else: I want blood! No mercy!"

The response from her two squadrons and a good portion of the jounin in the arena was deafening.

"Yes, Buchou!"

_Commander._

Kakashi chuckled. How like Ume to be able to effortlessly take control in a situation like this. _The Hokage’s daughter, indeed._

A large squadron of Sound ninja, maybe ten or twelve, approached Ume. Knowing immediately that they wouldn't be enough to handle Ume, he also realized something important: they were stalling Ume, trying to keep her from rallying the troops.

They had been expecting her.

Orochimaru was involved.

* * *

“Ume.”

Ume looked up from whatever highly classified intel she had been studying. “Kakashi? What are you doing here? You know you can’t be up here.”

He closed the door behind him, shutting out the ANBU who had _escorted_ him (read: followed in his wake) to Ume’s ‘office’. “I have something to tell you. It can’t wait.”

She blanched. “What happened?”

“Asuma-”

“No.” She shook her head. “No.”

“Ume.” He made for her but she shook him off.

“NO.”

“He died-”

“That’s not possible.” She tried to stand but her knees gave out and she fell against his chest. “If this is his idea of a joke, just wait ‘til I find his ass.”

“Ume, he’s gone.”

She laughed brokenly. “Really, this is not a funny joke. Stop it.”

“He died fighting the Akatsuki.”

She shook her head. “No.”

He framed her face with his hands and leaned his forehead against hers. “Ume, I’m sorry but Asuma’s dead.”

“He can’t be.”

“He is.”

She grabbed his wrists and screwed her eyes closed tight. “No, he isn’t. Kakashi you don’t understand, he can’t be dead. _Kurenai is pregnant._ He can’t be dead. He wouldn’t leave her..._us_ like that.”

He sucked in a breath and followed her to the floor as she collapsed. “He cant be dead.” 

* * *

“A full squad has four.”

“Huh?”

“Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi pushed off the post and approached the Hokage. “I’ll take over as Team Ten’s leader and go with them. Fair enough?”

“Kakashi? What are-?”

“It’s no use, they’re just going to go anyway. I figure you might as well send me along to keep and eye on them, to make sure they don’t go overboard.” He shrugged. “Besides Asuma was basically my brother-in-law.”

Tsunade sighed. “Kakashi…”

“Look it’s me or it’s Ume.” He pointed up to where Ume dangled upside-down from the top of the main gate. "And Ume is not... _inclined _to be very strategy-minded. It's going to be scorched earth with her." 

Tsunade huffed. “Alright as you wish then.” 

* * *

"Holy shit." Ume stumbled out of bed, almost falling flat on her face as she lurched for the bathroom.

As she emptied her stomach into the toilet, she tried to remember what she had eaten the day before.

_Lobster?_ Could that have made her sick?

She shrugged and focused on getting rid of whatever was making her sick.

When it was done, she leaned back against the wall behind her and breathed through her nose until that set off a whole new round of nausea. She repeated this process a couple of times before she had the strength to get up and brush the rancid taste out of her mouth.

She drug herself out of the bathroom and squinted at the clock. She needed to go, she had an interrogation to sit in on.

She moved into the kitchen and started half a pot of coffee.

No need for a full pot until Kakashi got back in a week or so.

With quick, methodical movements, she got ready for work. First she wrapped her knee, then her elbow, then she pulled on her uniform pants and shirt. Then she went through her weapons packs and holsters and attached them, then her flak vest was shrugged on and checked. Last but not least, she pulled on her armored gloves and tied her hitai-ate into place.

She made herself a thermos and locked the door before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Sorry I'm late, boys."

Ibiki grinned. "Kakashi's rubbed off on you."

Ume chuckled and sipped at her coffee. "Yeah, well... Getting lost of the road of life is contagious. Who knew?"

* * *

"Persistent food poisoning?"

Ume nodded. "Yeah, I've been puking my guts out every morning for the last week and a half."

Tsunade shook her head. "And it took you that long to come see me... Stubborn woman."

Ume shrugged. "Don't like hospitals."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "So you force yourself to suffer. Stupid."

"Yes ma'am."

Laughing, Tsunade made a face. "To be honest, I don't think it's food poisoning, it would have worked its way through your digestive tract already. You might have a bug."

Ume snorted. "I haven't been sick since Uchiha Niburo snotted on me at the academy and gave me the flu."

"Nausea in the morning, huh?" Tsunade fought the smile off her face. "And you feel fine the rest of the day?"

Ume nodded.

"When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?"

Ume shrugged. "Don't know, it's never been very consistent. I don't really keep up with it."

Tsunade grinned. "I see.. Any blown out condoms or missed birth control pills lately? Mind you, it counts as missed if you took it a couple hours later than you usually do."

Ume blanched. "You aren't suggesting what I think you're suggesting..."

Tsunade hid a chuckle as she turned to rifle through a cabinet. _Clueless_. She pulled out a pink box. "Only one way to find out. Go pee on this stick for me."

There was just something so funny about watching a woman who commanded hundreds of the Leaf's most elite ninja staring at a little pink box like she was waiting for the genjutsu torture to begin.

* * *

"You weren't at the apartment and Tenzou said you left ANBU hours ago. I figured I might find you out here."

Ume squinted up at him, the sunset playing over her face in brilliant color. She patted the stone next to her. "Share the Third's eye with me?"

Kakashi arched an eyebrow and settled next to her in the opening of the eye of the Third's monument. It was Ume's favorite thinking spot and her favorite joke. 'I'm going to go get in the Third's head.'

It was a dumb joke but it made her smile so he never said anything about it.

"Is there something wrong?"

She smiled softly and took his hand. "I'm pregnant."

Kakashi paled. "What?"

She shrugged. "Remember that torn condom from a month ago? The one we laughed off?"

Kakashi nodded slowly and searched her face. "I see. How do you feel about that?"

"About being pregnant?" She traced her fingertips over his glove. "Terrified, honestly. But excited.." She smiled up at him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I mean, some secret girly part of me has wanted to have your babies since I was old enough to understand what that meant."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. "I didn't know that."

She chuckled. "How do you feel about this? As much as I'm a mom now, you're a dad."

"I'm a father... never thought I'd ever see that happen... But I'm happy.Terrified I'll be a shit father... but happy."

"Well, we can't both be terrified. Poor child won't stand a chance."

"Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who gets to be paralyzed by fear."

She snorted, caught off guard, and then threw her head back and laughed. She tipped and Kakashi reached out to steady her. 

"Careful."

She snorted again. "Don't start this, Kakashi. If you become a hoverer, which let's be real, _you already are, _these next nine months are going to be excruciating."

He frowned. "Rude."

She smiled and nudged him with his elbow. "You know you love me."

He smiled softly. "You're right, I do. Don't know why, but when has my life-"

She poked him in the side. "Asshole."

"You know you love me."

She smiled, ire forgotten and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I do."

"All that being said..." Kakashi grinned. "Let's go home. I want to screw your brains out, then, when I've calmed down a bit, I want to make love to you."

Ume lifted her head off his shoulder and glared at him. "I know I'm no romantic, but... come on, Kakashi. Way to ruin the moment."

He grinned, his mask concealing most of it. "What can I say? The woman I love tells me she's pregnant with my kid... There's something very sexy about that."

Ume shook her head. "You are an unrepentant pervert."

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not."

“Definition of unrepentant.” She stood and pulled him to his feet. "Let's get you home before you explode." She hopped down from the eye, landing gingerly below him. She turned to look at him when he didn't land next to her. "Kashi?"

"Marry me."

She looked shocked for a spare moment before she smiled brilliantly. "I love you. You love me. You don't have to marry me just 'cause we're having a baby."

He pulled his mask down and hopped from the eye, landing quietly next to her. "I want to marry because I love you and it's long past time for me to make it official." He drew her close and kissed her softly. "I want people to know whose child you're carrying and who's coming for their head if anything happens to my family."

She smiled a watery little smile, though they both ignored it. "And who is that?"

He grinned. "Sharingan no Kakashi, the Copy Ninja, master of one thousand jutsus."

"He sounds like a dick, I might not want to marry him."

"He's pretty fond of you, you might not have a choice."

She sighed and cupped his face. "Okay then. I think I might want to marry this guy after all."

"Good." Kakashi kissed her deeply. "Now you said something about getting me home before I explode."

"I did. You're right."

Kakashi dug around in one of his pockets. "I almost forgot, we came across an updated bingo book. You're in it. You not Weasel."

She chuckled. "Really now."

She took the proffered book and flipped through before finding her entry. "Sarutobi Ume. Commander of Konoha ANBU. Do not engage."

Kakashi nodded as she grinned. "Naruto was very impressed." "'Sarutobi, also known as the 'Little Monkey'-' since when? No one has ever called me that." She bristled. "'-is assumed to be the identity of the ANBU known as Weasel (see page 227), who has been inactive for the past six years. Sarutobi is the rumored lover of Hatake Kakashi and was adopted and personally trained by the Third Hokage. Very proficient in taijutsu. Witnessed using both Earth and Fire Release. She is extremely dangerous. Do not approach or engage."

Kakashi pulled his mask up and they started walking through the inner catacombs of the monuments.

“At least they don’t seem to know about my injuries.”

She handed Kakashi back the bingo book and smiled. "Part of me wants our kid to get in a bingo book, part of me doesn't want there to be a need."

Kakashi nodded. "There will always be a need for ninja. If he or she, for the matter, gets in a bingo book, I'd want it to be for the right reasons. With both parents in a bingo book, I doubt any children of ours will have any choice but to be shinobi."

"Great ones." She grinned.

Kakashi smiled a one-eyed smile. "Great ones."

Ume looped her arm in his elbow. "Boy or girl?"

He shrugged. "Healthy."

She chuckled. "Healthy is a cop-out answer."

"What do you want?" She leaned against his arm and covered her stomach with her free hand.

"A little boy, who looks just like his daddy." She shot him a wry smile.

"Then that's what I want." He paused and moved to face her, his much larger hand coming up to lay over hers. "Hey kiddo."

She smiled and kissed him through the mask. They started walking again and they both breathed deep as the stepped into the dusk.

Kakashi turned to her then looked behind her. "We should name him after your dad, if he's a boy 'course."

She chuckled. "No."

"Why not?"

She looked at him like he might a few cards short of a deck. "Because my dad was a drunk jackass."

Kakashi huffed. "Not your _father_. Your dad." He pointed behind her.

She turned over her shoulder and laughed, water pooling in her eyes. "Oh. My dad."

The expression on the monument's stone face was solemn and impressive, but she could've sworn she saw it smile. Then again maybe it was the hormones. Tsunade had warned her about those.

"In that case... we may need to have two kids."

He hummed. "Why?"

"Gotta name one after your dad too." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "He deserves it too."

* * *

She wasn't sure what woke her up. Maybe Kakashi shifted, maybe it was the morning wood poking insistently against the back of her thigh, or maybe it was the slow, hot breath on the back of her neck that was too measured to be genuine.

"You're awake.. good."

She smiled. He shifted closer, moving so his erection lay innocuously between her legs. "Keep that warm for me."

She laughed, her head falling back against his shoulder. "You are such a perv."

He chuckled and his hand moved up to play with a beaded nipple. "Not a perv. I'm sexually inventive."

She groaned and reached down between her legs to let her fingers dance over the head of his erection. "Does it count if it comes straight out of one of Jiraiya's novels?"

He groaned against her throat, paused his attack of her pulse point and rumbled deeply, "Have I ever left you wanting?"

He tweaked her captive nipple with a little more force and sucked her earlobe into his mouth.

"I don't know, you were a little quick-" she gasped when he tugged roughly on her earlobe, cutting her off.

"If you are about to say 'when you were eighteen,' you know that doesn't count." He moved to worry his teeth along the back of her neck. "Neither of us had any clue what we were doing back then. I seem to remember a rather horrendous attempt at giving head."

"Oh hush. Point taken."

Kakashi laughed and shifted so she lay on her back under him. He leaned over her, kissing her deeply as she spread her legs to accommodate his hips. He smiled and dipped his tongue into her mouth.

She groaned, sucking on his tongue as her hands came up to drag over his shoulders and burrow deep into his hair. He smiled against her lips and moved suck a nipple into his mouth. She gasped and arched hard against him.

"You are so beautiful."

She blushed the same way she did every other time he complimented her. Her mind remembered what the left side of her body looked like, a mess of crisscrossing shiny scars, the shape of her body, hard and lean and the total opposite of the women in Jiraiya's books. Her licked at the underside of her breast, where a kunai had pierced years ago, leaving a rather nasty scar. He nudged her nipple lightly with the tip of his nose and smiled when she gasped.

He caught her eyes with his mismatched ones. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She smiled and tried to coax him toward her mouth. He resisted and with a wicked smile, moved further down her body. When she caught the intent, she groaned. "Kashi."

"Dad." There was a spate of knocking. "Mom."

They groaned silently and Ume signed:_ Ignore him. _

Kakashi grinned and licked deep- "Sasuke-nii is in our living room."

Ume rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “Is he wearing his mask?”

“Would I be bothering you if he wasn’t?”

Ume groaned and fell back on the bed. “He gets that from you.”

Kakashi shrugged. “I don’t know, we’re both rather sarcastic."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ume sniffed. "Sakumo clearly takes after me. He's such a sweet, kind boy-"

Kakashi snorted. "Sakumo is my father reincarnated and you know it."

"I know... kind, gentle-"

"_Quiet, _as stoic as a child can be and still be considered normal. And if you're honest, you've never been accused of being quiet in your life. Or stoic for that matter."

She flicked him off.

"I would, love, but you're needed out there." He winked at her before rolling to the side.

She rolled her eyes and stood, moving to grab a pair of trousers off a hanger in the closet. She pulled on underwear and stepped into the trousers. Ume smirked. "Most likely, I'm being summoned to hear Sasuke's team give report. Might as well take a shower. No telling how long this will take."

Kakashi smirked and stood. "Suppose you're right."

Ume pulled a shirt over head and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You taking Hiruzen out to train later?" Kakashi nodded and moved to capture her lips with his. "Bringing Sakumo too. He would be upset if we left him. We're going to learn about chakra natures."

Ume smiled. "Don't test him until I get there, kay? I wanna be there for the litmus test."

Kakashi nodded. "Naruto has started a betting pool. He's convinced Zen will be wind natured like him since you ate so much ramen when you were pregnant."

"He would think so. What do you think?"

Kakashi shrugged, still naked, wearing nothing but a smug smile. "He does take after my side..."

Ume smiled. "So you think lightning, huh? It is possible that he could just come out of nowhere and be wind or water natured. My dad was very strongly earth natured but Asuma, on the other hand, was wind natured and Mirai has turned out to be neither. You never know."

"Yeah, but Mirai takes after her mother in that regard."

She shrugged.

"Tenzou thinks he's going to take after you in this regard. He says it's not fair that the kid looks and acts so much like me."

Ume chuckled. "Should I be flattered that everyone is so interested in what my son's chakra nature is?"

Kakashi shrugged. "That's what happens when two geniuses have children."

She waved him off. "I'm no genius."

Kakashi snorted. "Of course not, _Commander_."

"Point decidedly unmade, _Hokage._"

She rolled her eyes and Kakashi leaned down to steal a couple kisses.

"Mom! Dad! What is taking you so long?"

Kakashi huffed. "Your mother and I are talking."

Her son repeated as much aloud to Sasuke, who replied with an unintelligible rumble. "Sasuke-nii says that that is not all you're doing." There was a pause. "Are you kissing?"

Ume shook her head. "Tell Sasuke-nii that he's an impudent brat and that he'll be polishing headstones for the next year if he doesn't shut his mouth."

Ume shooed Kakashi towards the bathroom. "I better head out."

He grinned a devastating grin and winked. “Until tonight then.”

She smiled. "Guess so.. Now go, your son doesn't need to see you with _that_ hanging out."

"Impressive, isn't it?"

Ume arched a brow at him. "You're ridiculous, now go."

Kakashi smiled. "You know it is."

She smiled and pecked at his lips lightly. "See ya."

"_You will.._"

She waited for Kakashi to disappear into the bathroom before opening the bedroom door to her very suspicious 7 year-old.

Hiruzen Hatake was truly his father’s son, a white-haired, dark-eyed Kakashi mini-me, tall for his age and already showing his father’s aptitude.

Despite his physical appearance, and her protests to the contrary, Zen truly _felt _like her son. He was a ceaseless fount of energy and, generally speaking, humor and cheer. Additionally, when he was angry or upset, it was a bit like looking in a mirror.

That sarcasm, though, that was all Kakashi.

She flicked his forehead. “You rang, brat?”

He rubbed his forehead. “What were you and Dad doing?”

She smiled and gathered him to her side, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Good morning, my dearest oldest son.”

He grunted and pushed her away. “Mom… stop it!”

“Why? Is Sasuke-nii going to see? Are you embarrassed to have a mother who loves you?” She leaned down and landed a big, wet kiss on his forehead just as Uchiha and his mask came into view.

“MOM!!”

There was the pitter-patter of small feet and then a small body barreled into her bad knee.

"Momma! I want cereal!"

Sakumo Hatake really was her father-in-law reborn. He had the Hatake coloring, which marked him as Kakashi's son and Zen's brother easily. Though, she was proud to note, he had her big, blue eyes. 

Serious, quiet and conscientious, Sakumo, still only four, was already showing his father's predilection for perfectionism and beating himself up when something went wrong.

It worried her and she wasn't quiet sure how to deal with it in miniature. Sure she had dealt with Kakashi's drive for perfection for years, but it was never something she had to deal with when it came to Zen, as any trace of perfectionism had been diluted in his older brother's temperament by a healthy dose of Ume's temper.

She smiled down at him and swung him into her arms. "Hello, my dearest younger son." She tickled him. "I will make you a bowl of cereal if Uchiha's panties aren't on fire and he can wait."

Sasuke flicked her off discreetly.


End file.
